Desperately seeking reasons

At least when I wake up in the middle of the night, I know it’s because I need a wee or I’m stressed about one thing or the other; I am able to think about and rationalize what is happening. I must be really annoying for him to have a bottle of water or porridge shoved in his gob if what he’s trying to tell us is that he just needs a good fart. 

Bistro Lykketroll

I've been getting a bit of gentle ribbing about how much time and effort I spend cooking and how ridiculous the Troll's diet is so I thought I would have a little fun and draw up a menu of the things he might eat in a regular week.